The Eightfold Path

&nbsp The Eightfold Path (often styleized as 8! FOLD! PATH!) is a buddhist mathcore band formed in idaho during the redox revolution of the mid 80s made up of singer/PiMP/Politician Ryan Chavez and banjo player/screamer/spiritual leaderLucas "Onion" Charlestone. The band's line up has been the same since the begining in 1986 but has broken up a total of 187 times. The bands first EP was released in 1985 it was named "POO POO DIePA" and featured a dolphin giving birth on the front cover. The lead single on the EP, The Monk Within went number 564 on the Lativian top 200 chart for the last 2 weeks of 1987 selling over 15 records. Thier first full length Album was released in 1990 and was alled "Vandalizeddd" and had smeared bodily fluid and feces on a vandalized brick wall. The raw emotion inspired by the death of Michele Chavez made this song go to number 453 on Greenlands top 356 singles of 1995. In 1991 the band released the criticly aclaimed album pagoda featureing a re-release of the single monk within. This album also features Madonna, Michael Jackson, and Norm Bakerman. They were all drugged and forced to record music for the band. The album went quadruple Platinum in Lativa, Congo, Chad, Kenya, Saudi Arabia, Zimbabwe, Sudan, and Africa. it went triple platinum in New Zeland, Australia, Singapore, Indonesia, and Vietnam. Double Platinum in Laos, china, Guam, Japan, Costa Rica, Sweden, Italy, Isreal, Greece, Spain, France, Iraq, Iran, Your house, My house, Turkey, Uzbechistan, Russia, Macedonia, Meco, Brazil, antarctica, Peru, and Finland. Platinum in Columbia, Iceland, Scotland, ireland, Western Ireland, Whales, Northern Irelend, Middle Eastern Ireland, Upside-down Ireland, The United Kingdom of France and Mexico and Hati. Gold in Canada, Greenland, Iceland, Portugal, Germany, Albania, Cydonia, Earth, Pluto, Beta Centuri, Onderon, Hoth, Coruscant, and The Dominican Republic. The album sold 3 copies in america.They tried to follow up on this huge sucess with a new album called "REally Cheesey 80's Music" It was crap and sold only 6 copies all to the mother of Crondor a.k.a Madonna who is still drugged from the poisones meatloaf ryan gave her earlier in the year. Depressed and alone, the band chaged their sound to a more eratic and spiritual sound that they are known for today. They continuously wrote music from 1992 to 2010 when they released the album "Russia" in honor of a song they recorded but was forever lost =(. the album went octuple platinum on every country except Prussia and Detroit because the sound didnt appeal to gangstas. They kicked off 2011 in style with thier first music video for the song "But' off the album "Vandalizeddd"



Biography
One day Onion was walking down the street and he found a pennie. The next day he was in a pub and he met Ryan Chavez, he hated him. In onion's eyes ryan was a buddhist non-be-friendly robot. Then after getting in afight with him he heard him scream and was mystified by his voice and found a new respect for hiim and converted to his 17th religion Buddhism. After that someone named Lucas' Banjo walked in and it was just destiny that made Lucas pick it upo and start to perform the first thing that came to his mind as Ryan jumped in, the chemistry was amazing. This song became known as "The Monk Within". They then bought a house together and died from an opium overdose the very next day. They were revived in idaho state hospital and discovered that there was a new chapter in there life. They played at many local idaho pubs until Lucas touched a woman's dress because he needed to feel something smooth when high on cocaine. The local idahos chased them out. They than joined a potato farm headed by Ol' man Jenkins. Although they were not Very dilligent and expressed a love for drugs, sex and alcohol they became close friends with the old man. They often played their instriments in the hay and taught old man Jenkins buddhism. Although this relationship did not last long because after 2 months old man Jenkins was hit by a blimp. They then migrated to new york city where they found regular work in a local pub not to far from newark. Thirsten more signed them in fall of 1986 and they rushed to release their first album. Although stress was releaved when micheo kaku discovered time machinery. They went back to catch up a year in 1985. Although the machinery was damaged by Ryan's gamma ray emitting vocal chords thus being wiped from history's existence.

Style and influences
8! FOLD! PATH! is often bombarded with questions about there gracious fasion sense which ranged from long blowdryed hair to short greasy hippy mops. However There shirts and pants have always been exactly the same. IN 1986 they came up with the ever popular dolphin dew. it was popular in kenya and parts of the south pacific. They idea was to use so much hair spray that your hair will take the shape size and form of a lifesized dolphin. Although it was banned in 1987 by the U.S government due to the direct depletion of ozone directly over their heads. As chavez kept experimenting with new styles ranging from long to gay such as the sideways due. Lucas found a style he liked. Until this day Lucas wears a long shiny mop that falls upon his nose to pretect his higher face or forehead from the gamma radiation produced by his counterparts throat along with a blank face with no enthusiasm to bottle his feelings in the hopes that one day he will have enough joy and sadness to explode and form blood and gore.